Jealousy keeps us in a rigid bitter place. It cuts off our creative channel and compresses us into a very self-focused depressing perspective. Who wants to live like that?! Unfortunately I know jealousy well. She and I have curled up together in the fetal position on the floor lamenting about what everybody else gets to do except for me. I have spent many years as a blocked creative staring at the joys of other people’s creations and feeling horrible for not being where they are. Add to that the guilt and self-hatred for feeling that way, after all, jealousy seems so frickin’ petty! But here’s the truth to sooth your soul: jealousy is really just a road map.
"Map of Fuzhou City" by Toby Simkin used under CC BY 2.0 added text "Jealousy" from original
The only reason you feel jealous is because you know you have it in you to do whatever it is you want to be doing. The jealousy map is pointed in the direction where you see other creative people having fun doing what you want to be doing. And the only reason you are not doing it yourself is because you’re blocked. Not because you’re lazy, not because you procrastinate, not because you’re a loser, not because you’re not wanted…all of these tormenting thoughts are because you are blocked creatively, not because they are true. So how do you get unblocked?
Dismantling the Block – Imagine an actual wall or roadblock built out of rocks and logs and debris. If you were going to remove the roadblock so you could continue on your merry way, how would you go about it? First you’ve got to look at it. You can’t pretend its not there, you’ve got to see it for what it is. A roadblock. Okay, what’s it made of? That nasty thing your Sunday school teacher told you about your singing voice? Not feeling supported or encouraged by your parents to pursue your creative goals? A “friend” you trusted who shot down your great idea? FYI: this isn’t placing blame, this is seeing. You’ve got to see it to free it.
Write it down, make a list, journal the hell out of it, speak it out loud to a trusted friend, scream it into your pillow, whatever you need to do to get it out of your body and somewhere else so it doesn’t belong to you anymore. This is the process of dismantling.
Now write some affirmations. Here are some examples: I am a bright creative being. I free myself to create. I love myself back onto my creative path. I have so much fun creating what I love…you get the picture. Make them up for yourself so they carry more meaning and power for you. Post them where you will see them. This is the process of putting on sturdy boots to continue the journey you want to take.
"Path at Dohles Rocks" by Len Matthews used under CC BY 2.0
Now, start taking some action. Any action. Go for a walk with your camera and take some pictures. Sign up for an acting or improv class. Take a dance lesson or just turn on some loud music and dance around your house. Get together with some friends to see a movie. Update your blog (hehe). Here’s the key: do the action with the intention that you are healing your inner creative artist and moving forward on your creative path. That way it feels like a step forward in the direction of your dreams...because it is!
You may not be accepting your Oscar tonight, but you have gotten up off the floor and taken a step forward instead of laying in the fetal position watching everyone else have all the fun. You deserve to have fun too, so throw yourself a party honey! Make some fun happen no matter what it is! The Universe responds to fun and to action. Use your jealousy as a road map to save yourself, the whole world is waiting for you!